Two Roadblocks

Have you ever had that moment where you feel like you’re in pretty good shape? That you’re on the right path—doing everything right—or at least better than most people around you? It’s a nice feeling, but life has a way of humbling us, doesn’t it? That’s usually when a dose of reality comes along to remind us there’s still work to do.

I had one of those moments recently. I was feeling pretty good about where I was in life, and then I listened to someone I deeply respect share their perspective on two major issues they see in the world today. Their words hit me like a brick in the face, and I want to share them with you because I think we all struggle with these, whether we realize it or not.

#1 – Complaining

The Problem:
We’ve all been around someone who complains nonstop, haven’t we? It’s exhausting. But here’s the hard truth: sometimes, we’re that person. Complaining is easy to fall into, especially when life feels hard or unfair. But it’s also incredibly destructive—to ourselves, our relationships, and even our faith.

Why We Should Stop Complaining:

a. It Wastes Energy
Complaining doesn’t solve anything. In fact, it usually amplifies our stress and drains the energy we could be using to focus on solutions.

b. It Creates a Negative Atmosphere
Chronic complaining turns the environment around us toxic. People feel dragged down or start avoiding us, which damages relationships and isolates us further.

c. It Reinforces a Victim Mentality
When we complain, we often get stuck in a cycle of self-pity. It keeps us from taking action or taking responsibility for our part in the situation.

d. It Hurts Mental and Physical Health
Research has shown that negativity—including chronic complaining—increases stress levels, which can take a serious toll on both mental and physical health over time.

e. It Becomes a Habit
The more we complain, the easier it gets to do it again. Over time, it reshapes how we see the world, making it harder to notice the good things in life.

f. It Shows a Lack of Faith
This is the biggest reason of all. Complaining often reveals a lack of trust in God’s plan. The Israelites’ constant grumbling in the wilderness is a perfect example. Despite God’s provision, they complained and doubted Him, which ultimately led to 40 extra years in the desert.

The Solution: Gratitude
Scripture and common sense both point to gratitude as the antidote to complaining. Gratitude shifts our focus to the good things in life, helps us recognize our blessings, and strengthens our trust in God’s plan. When we’re intentional about being thankful, we’re also much more likely to be happy and at peace.

#2 – Being Judgmental

The Problem:
Being judgmental—or overly critical—is a thief of joy. It’s sneaky, too. Sometimes it shows up in how we think about others, but it also sneaks in as gossip. We judge others, then talk about it, and the cycle continues.

Why We Should Stop Being Judgmental:

a. It Breeds Distrust
Gossip and slander destroy trust. They damage relationships by spreading lies or exposing private matters. When we have a reputation for gossiping or being critical, people are less likely to trust us.

b. It Creates a Toxic Environment
Judgmental attitudes and gossip foster negativity in families, workplaces, and communities. They lead to drama, division, and hurt feelings, all of which are avoidable.

c. It Reflects Poor Character
Speaking poorly of others often stems from insecurity or jealousy. It doesn’t reflect well on us, either. People respect those who build others up, not those who tear them down.

d. It’s Emotionally Draining
Let’s be honest—being judgmental or gossiping doesn’t feel good. It leads to bitterness and anxiety instead of peace and joy. Letting go of these habits is one of the simplest ways to improve emotional well-being.

e. It Reflects Pride
These behaviors often come from a place of arrogance. We try to elevate ourselves by bringing others down. But the truth is, you can’t build yourself up that way. Patrick Lencioni, a leading voice in team health, points out that judgmental attitudes are one of the biggest problems affecting teamwork.

f. It’s a Sin
This might be the most important point. Gossip, slander, and judgmental attitudes are condemned throughout Scripture. In Proverbs, they’re listed among the seven things God hates. The New Testament is full of warnings against judging others, reminding us that judgment is God’s role, not ours.

The Solution: Love
Replace gossip with encouragement—or keep quiet. The old advice, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all,” still holds up. But don’t just stop there. Instead of judging someone, try praying for them. It’s amazing how your perspective can change when you pray for others. It’s practically impossible to talk negatively about someone while lifting them up in prayer.

Final Thoughts

Complaining and being judgmental are traps we all fall into from time to time. They’re easy to justify, but they’re also incredibly harmful. So, next time you catch yourself complaining or being critical, take a moment to pause. Ask yourself: How can I focus on gratitude instead? How can I show love to this person instead of judgment? These small changes can make a big difference—in your life and in the lives of those around you.

Ryan Giles